I Won’t Survive
by reading is my addiction
Summary: I fell to the ground on my knees, sobs ripping through my body, just like the pain tearing through my soul. “I won’t survive..” I kept muttering over and over.' 1 shot


**Disclaimer: **_I do **NOT** own __anything __Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended._

"Bella." He said. His voice was quiet; distant. He wouldn't look me in the face, keeping his head down, gaze to the ground.

"Edward? What's wrong?" I stammered… my voice sounding a bit panicked.

He shook his head, continuing to analyze the floor.

"Edward?" I was really panicking now… what is going on? Why won't he look at me? It all felt familiar… too achingly familiar.

"You're leaving aren't you?" I don't know how I had the strength to actually speak the words… my heart was tearing… a hole I recognized all to well was beginning to open in my chest. He stayed silent but looked at me this time. The look on his face…. It was going to haunt me forever. When he looked at me, I didn't see the normal endless love in his gaze… I saw nothing.

"Please…" I begged. "Please don't do this…" I was hysterical; arms wrapped around myself, tears pouring down my face. "You can't… I won't survive it this time, I can't live without you… don't go, please, don't go!"

"Bella." Was all he said in response, he continued to look at me, to watch me fall to pieces before him. I fell to the ground on my knees, sobs ripping through my body, just like the pain tearing through my soul. "I won't survive.." I kept muttering over and over. "Not without you. I love you. I love you. Don't leave me." I could no longer speak, my voice drowned out by my sobs. He continued to stand there watching me. I couldn't take it, not this… this pain… I would surely die from it. I looked at him through my watery gaze, desperate to find something in his face, some sign of the love he always proclaimed. He started to back away, a lifeless look etched in his beautiful features, quietly saying my name. "Bella... Bella..." I continued to fall apart, my whole body shaking, and though he was walking away my name kept getting louder, and his voice more frantic.

"Bella! Bella, wake up! Wake up love!" I woke with a start to someone shaking me gently. I could barely breathe because I was sobbing so much. I opened my eyes to see a very worried Edward staring at me. A dream… it was a dream.

"OH EDWARD!" I cried, throwing myself into his cold embrace and burying my face in his chest. He was here... he didn't leave... he's here. The knowledge brought more tears to my eyes. I was so relieved he was really here.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me into his lap and crushing me to him.

"It's ok love, I'm here, it was just a bad dream. I'm here. Shhh. It's ok." He murmured, kissing my head softly and rocking us slowly. I clung to him, held on with all my might, as if he would disappear if I let go. I cried into his chest for a long time, partly from the horrible dream and partly from the utter relief that it was just that.. a dream. Edward continued to rock me, telling me everything was ok, that he was here, that it was just a dream.

When I calmed down a bit, he pulled away slightly to look at me.

"Bella love." He said slowly. "What happened in your dream that made you so upset? You just said my name a few times, and 'I won't survive.' I kept calling you, trying to wake you, and then you were sobbing." His voice cracked at the memory and I could hear the pain in it. "Do you want to tell me about it love?"

I thought for a moment as tears continued to run down my face. Surely it would make him upset to learn I was dreaming of him leaving again? Cause him pain? Could I really bear to do that? See the hurt cross his eyes when I tell him? His eyes… suddenly I snapped my head up and stared into them. I found what I was looking for. Love. Endless pools of it in his warm gaze. So much of it, I started to cry harder again. It was as if it was the only way for my body to express the utter joy of being whole again. Being loved again.

His arms tightened around me with my new batch of sobs. I had to say something, as much as I didn't want to tell him, I felt I had to.

"I…I… you.. l-left… m…. m.." I couldn't even finish what I was saying as the sobs wracked my body.

"Oh Bella." He whispered. And then his lips were on me, leaving frantic, gentle kisses all over my face.

"Never. Never. Never." He kept whispering between kisses. I continued to cry as he kissed every part of me his lips could reach. After a moment he stopped and looked me in the eyes.

"Bella, sweetheart... my love, my life." He whispered. "I will never, ever, leave you again. You were muttering 'I won't survive.' Well I wouldn't survive either Bella. YOU are my LIFE. There is nothing for me in this world without you. I could never leave." He moved his hand and gently wiped away my tears. "I love you."

"I love you too." I said quietly. He smiled his heartbreaking crooked smile.

"See love? It's alright." He said softly, stroking my cheek. I sighed in content.

He cupped my face and leaned in slowly; softly pressing his lips to mine. After a minute though, my heart started to race and I tangled my hands in his hair trying to bring him closer to me. I felt him smile against my lips before he pulled away. He chuckled and gave me a quick chaste kiss, leaning his forehead against mine. "I see someone is feeling a bit better." He whispered. I nodded.

"Good. Now." He said placing a kiss to my forehead. "It's time to go back to sleep love." He moved me from his lap to lay back down on the bed. He lay beside me pulled me to him, arms encircling me. "Sleep my beautiful Bella. I love you. I will be right here, forever."

"I love you too… forever." I replied sleepily, snuggling up closer to him. I quickly faded into pleasant dreams, wrapped up in his loving arms as he hummed my lullaby.


End file.
